Lynn’s big day

One of the problems of divorce is that friends don’t know what to do and who to invite to those ‘life’ celebrations that punctuate our days. So I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t get an invite to Lynn’s wedding. Lynn calls me her God Father, despite the fact I’m not. When I pointed this out, Lynn very sweetly wrote: “I call you my Godfather because in my heart you are. x”

When the wedding was being organised things were very rough between Elaine and myself and one of the boys wasn’t talking to me; so it would have been unfair on the three of them to have to put up with my presence and who needs a load of ill feeling to put a damper on their happy day? By the time of the wedding things had improved enough that I think we may have been able to pull it off.

I was very touched when out of the blue I was asked if I could take some pictures before the wedding so that I could have some involvement in the event. I agreed, and even volunteered to go and take pictures of the girls getting ready at the hairdresser’s. I’m glad I did as I am very pleased with some of the pictures. The best of the crop can be found on Flickr.

While getting ready Lynn was joking about running a sweep stake on who was going to be first to shed tears at the wedding. Sorry Lynn, you were wrong, you should have glanced back as the car pulled away.

Day 1 – Over night at Ansty Grove Barn

Ginger is in the UK for a whole month.

Today I picked Ginger up at Heathrow airport and we drove to the village where I was brought up. You can read all about it here.

A lot of water, some reflection and a look ahead

A lot of water has passed under the bridge since the night in March 2007 when I started thinking about finishing off the work on the house. I had no idea that within a few weeks my life was going to fundamentally change.

Visiting the house today, I remembered the photo, and I decided to take another. Sitting there some fourteen and half months later, in the house I no longer live in, I reflected on the past year. Some of it has been hell, and there’s still a lot of problems I’ve yet to face. But for all the angst and agony, overwhelmingly there has been the joy.

That joy has been Ginger. For almost a year now we have talked every single day. We mail, we chat, now to save money we use a webcam, before that we used Skype. Last summer I used my mobile ‘phone – that was quite a bill. The day after tomorrow Ginger arrives in the UK and she’ll be here for a whole month. We’ve deliberately kept her visit low-key so as not to cause too many ructions with Elaine. We are going to tour the UK for a couple of weeks, then I have to get back to work, and we’ll get to play ‘house’ for a short while. Ginger will be here for both our birthdays, and for mine I have organised a get together at my sister’s, where the whole family can meet Ginger for the first time. I’m more worried about Ginger flying here than I am at her meeting the family. She on the other hand is terrified of meeting my family. We’ll see.

The builders have finished…

Well almost. Today was a run through putting stuff on the snag list. We ended up with about 30 items. So another day or so ought to see it done.

Curry night

Curry night – May 2008, originally uploaded by +Gary+.

We’ve all worked together at some time or other and we’ve been getting together for a meal, generally a curry, on a monthly basis for longer than I care to recall. I have missed quite a few months, almost a whole year at one point when business was flagging and I couldn’t afford to pay myself and so couldn’t justify the expense.

The meals have a lot of light hearted banter and ribbing. This month we discussed next month’s meal, when by special dispensation we will have a special guest.

Tina surprised me during the course of this month’s conversation by revealing she had moved to Portsmouth 19 years ago. She moved here from Wales when I hired her to write scripts for training courses and videos. Something she still does, though now-a-days I think she prefers to write for TV, where she can earn repeat fees when the shows play abroad. Tina’s husband coincidently is American. It’s funny how things turn out.

Thinking back to those days I remember the boys coming to the office from school, all cute in their school uniforms. Now they’re in there twenties. oh my how time flies.

From Left to right: Yours Truly, John Rowe, Stephen Bullas, Mark Isaac, Tina Walker (when she isn’t using her married name).

Spice Village, Emsworth, UK | Map |

Family curry night

It was just a typical family night of general verbal abuse and light hearted banter. Keith was supposed to join us, but cried off at the last moment claiming a prior engagement ‘jamming’ with a friend.

Much to my amusement I finished the evening disgusting Ian. Apparently he doesn’t think his brother has a sex life.

From left to right: Ian, Marcelle, Neil, Robert and yours truly.

I love Robert’s expression

Sitting in the back seat of Ian’s car on the way home.

Visiting

This evening I visited my parents’ grave.

My uncle and I visited it while he was here, and it was rather over grown and untended. So I went back tonight to tidy it up a bit. I’ve not been a particularly attentive son. I’ve only visited their grave a few times in over twenty years, and this was the first time I’ve taken the time to do some cleaning and tidying up.

Being there brought home my own mortality; they both succumbed to cancer relatively young. If I live another eleven years I’ll be older than they both were.

I sat and thought for a while about what they would make of my life and plans. Thinking about those eleven years, I’m glad I’ve found the courage to follow a more difficult path that will hopefully lead to happiness rather than take the easy route of accepting the status quo.

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Breakfast at Lou Lou’s

After a night out drinking, what better way to start the day than with a full English breakfast?

My ex would never stand for me taking pictures in public, let alone set up the camera on a tripod on an adjacent table. It irked me because the lighting in Lou-Lou’s is super. There were so many brilliant candid pictures I missed out on.

Keith Austin, Lou-Lou’s, 5 May 2008.

Doorstep

Today is a very special day to me. It was on this day a year ago, that I first voiced the possibility of meeting Ginger. We were very firm friends at this point, and were beginning to realise just how much we had in common. Interests, background, aspirations. I knew that it had come to the time when big decisions needed to be taken. I wrote to her, what we both later came to refer to as my ‘Doorstep e-mail’:

the only way this will work is if I turn up on your doorstep, and if that happens there’ll be no going back

Her response… well to politely blow me away.

Sunday lunch and after…

Diffi and Clive volunteered to provide Sunday lunch. To build up an appetite Keith and I walked to Gunwharf and all along to Eastney, giving Keith a chance for a bit of sight seeing. On the way we dropped in to say hello to Robert. After lunch we decanted to the Eastney Tavern, where far too much alcohol was consumed by myself. Quite late in the evening we ended up staggering home (well I did the staggering).